Okay, I’ve FINALLY finished going through my drafts folder. There are six left. I ended up deleting a few, but I also posted a ton of them. Sorry about the massive influx of old posts. I had fun reading through some of the things I’d written last year and the year before. It’s amazing how life changes. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was with my job and how stressed out I was all the time. Half the posts were talking about work and me crying. lol. I didn’t realize how much I cried. I honestly didn’t used to be so sensitive to everything. But I guess the constant, daily stress and the not being able to get help with anything and all the other things going on every single day starts to take a toll. I don’t feel anywhere near as stressed as I did back then and I’m soooooooooooooo thankful for that. Looking back over the past three months, I can see where it took a while to get that ‘stressed to the point of snapping’ and the ‘being super overwhelmed all the time’ out of my system. Poor Troy. He sure did have to put up with a lot. I’m so glad I’ve calmed down and don’t feel so on edge all the time.
And I’m super thankful that he brought me here with him. He’s told me a few times that all he’s ever wanted to do is help me improve my life. I think the biggest improvement he has done is to get me away from that job. It really was sucking the life out of me. I probably would have died there. There are some really great people there, but the environment and just the way people treat each other and how nobody wants to do their own work (or do it well) really starts to wear on you and bring you down. It was also hard when so many people lied and blamed other people for stuff and you never knew when someone was going to take something you said or did and twist it to make you look like a terrible employee. It happened to me several times. One guy got in trouble for slacking off and lied out the nose about me. I got penalized for it without even being asked if any of it was true. A couple of girls did that to me, too. Once when I was actually trying to help a girl, she turned it into this whole big drama thing and was walking around the office talking crap about me and then I got called in and asked if I was trying to sabotage her work. Good grief. She was stressed and crying at work and I was just trying to help make things easier for her. Another time, a guy asked me why I was doing another girl’s work and I jokingly responded I didn’t have anything else to do, so I figured I’d do her work, too. Instead of taking note that I had plenty of work at my desk and was just joking, this other girl goes and reports that she heard me telling someone that I’m milking the clock for overtime and not actually doing any work. I then got put on this sort of suspension thing where I had to report every ounce of work I did every single day for the next several months. And this was AFTER I’d already gotten approval for overtime to help the girl get caught up with her work. Why on earth was I being penalized for something I’d received approval for?????
*sigh* Reading through those posts just brought back so many memories of all the crappy things that happened there and has helped me realize how much better of I am. Even when I feel super bored and like I wish I was back at my old job, it really is a blessing to be away from that environment with all the backstabbing, the lying, the constant stream of profanity, the sexual conversations and the incessant meanness. I miss the friends I had there and the good times, but there were just so many bad times and difficult people that it completely outweighed anything else. I’m so glad Troy asked me to come to Malaysia with him. I’m so glad he took this chance with our relationship. My life has improved in several ways and I will always be grateful to him for that.
