Kicking Myself

Ugh. I’m so disappointed in myself. I was doing really well with my homework and really well in my classes. My teachers were telling me they were impressed with my work and one even told me I had the top grade in the class. So what do I do? I screw up. Ugh. I could seriously kick myself.

Last night, I was going through some homework and checked my list to make sure I was caught up on anything and to see what is coming due in the next few days. Troy’s parents are here now and I really want to make sure I keep up on everything. Especially since Troy said last night that he wants to leave for Penang on Thursday night and come back Saturday night. I have four assignments due on Friday and one due on Thursday, so now I have to get all those done today. I got two of the Friday assignments done yesterday as well as the one due on Thursday, but the other two due on Friday will take a bit of time and I was hoping to do one an evening. Well, not the case anymore.

Anyways, when I was going through all the stuff I need to do for this week (I also have an essay I have to do today, one that I have been avoiding), I realized I freakin missed an assignment. Ugh. The one class where I have the highest grade and I forgot to do one piece of homework. I’d even thought about it yesterday morning and had done some prep work on it the day before, but forgot to do it before I went to pick Troy’s parents up from the airport. There was just so much going on over the weekend with filming those videos for Troy’s company and then getting ready for Troy’s parents to arrive. I keep kicking myself because I know I’m better than this. At my last job, I never missed a deadline through any fault of my own. Almost four years and the only time I missed deadlines were because Judges didn’t sign a document, someone else had made an error on a document and it had to be corrected before we could move forward, there was missing information or other such things as that.

But now? Now I’ve messed up and it was my own darn fault. I hurried and finished the assignment last night and turned it in with a note explaining how I’ve got a ton going on right now and completely spaced it. I told my teacher that I wasn’t trying to get out of the docked points,that I deserve them, and asked what I could do to make the points up. I was so afraid the late assignment deduction was going to be huge. The online system lets me toy with different grades for different assignments and I toyed with a 25% and 30% hit on the points. Part of my was afraid it was going to be a 50% hit and that I’d completely fail the assignment.

This morning, I woke up to a message from my teacher. He docked me 10 points for it being late and gave me a gentle chastisement on how this class is trying to prepare students for real world-type deadlines and that I need to keep on top of my homework. There is no way I can make up the points because in the real world you can’t do extra work to earn back the money you lose when you miss deadlines or undisappoint people who are counting on you. He didn’t explicitly say that, but that is the message I got from what he said.

10 points isn’t bad, but I’m still disappointed in myself. I have my assignments in my phone and on my desk calendar. The funny thing is that my teacher suggested integrating my school calendar with google calendar and getting reminders sent to my phone. I do have the calendars integrated, but the assignments don’t pop up on my phone like other calendar items do. I told him I’d look into it and get reminders going on my phone.

Oh well. I’m happy I got points at all for the assignment, I just keep kicking myself because I know I’m better than that. Yes, it was only one assignment and all that, but I’d been operating on the assumption that the only missed points I was going to get for the semester were for wrong or incomplete answers, not something stupid like missing a deadline. There goes my highest grade in class (maybe) and all for something so dumb. Bah. I guess this will teach me to stay on top of my school work even more when life gets busy.