Yesterday was my day to teach at the refugee school. Normally, I teach two classes, but all the students from my second class were gone yesterday, so I had my first class for two time periods. I kinda wish they’d told me BEFORE I got there, but thankfully I had a 4-page worksheet from the week before. It had been super hazy last week and was making me feel sick every time I went outside, so I just emailed the worksheet to the supervisor and she gave it to the kids. Yesterday was the day for us to go over the worksheet and get it all corrected.
In my fantasy world.
When I first started teaching, my first class had 5 kids. Now we’re down to 4. It’s nice and cozy. The girls (all four in this class are girls) are friendly and smart, but don’t usually participate a lot. Yesterday, though, they were all giggles and talkative. It was nice. Except for the part where only one had completed (mostly) her worksheet. She did all but the last page. That was Lily. She doesn’t usually participate a lot, but she was a lot more open yesterday than usual. I’ve wondered if she feels weird because of the huge scar on her face, so I made sure to tell her I was very happy about her doing her homework, impressed with how well she wrote in complete sentences and proud of her for following the directions. She had a few wrong answers, but most of those were still pretty close to the correct answers.
Another girl, Betty, said she’d almost finished her worksheet, but left it at home, so she just got to sit and listen because I didn’t have any extras with me and they don’t have a copy machine at the school. Though, it’s possible they thought I said coffee…………………
The other two girls, Doi Nan and Julia, said the worksheet was really hard and they didn’t understand a lot of it. Actually, Betty said it was really hard, too. Lily may have thought it was hard, but she didn’t say so. She usually keeps her head down and doesn’t talk much. I think I need to do better at giving her positive reinforcement and help her feel more comfortable participating.
Anyways, since the girls thought it was pretty hard, instead of just correcting the worksheet as a group (part of the purpose of foreigners teaching is to help the kids understand spoken English and get comfortable learning in English), I decided to go through the worksheet question-by-question and show them the paragraph where the answer is and help them figure out the answer from the paragraph. It worked for the most part. The girls did fairly well at picking up what the answers were once they understood what the question was asking. I think that was part of the issue. I designed the questions so the answers couldn’t be copied straight out of the book and they are used to having the answers be verbatim from the book. So, I let them figure out what the answer could be and then I helped them phrase it to where it answered the question and composed a complete sentence.
That’s another issue I’m having with both of my classes. They have trouble writing in complete sentences. That is not unexpected, but it does pose a challenge at times. I feel it is my responsibility as a teacher to make sure they are improving in all areas my lessons touch on and being able to write, speak and understand English is something these kids deal with in every class. They speak fairly good English, but their pronunciations are off on some words (they all struggle with ‘ch’), they leave out some words (like ‘the’), they get tenses mixed up and pluralization is occasionally incorrect. So, I take time to correct these things and explain about them if it is needed.
Because of this, the girls have gotten fairly comfortable asking me random questions. They ask me the meaning of words that aren’t in our lesson, ask me to explain what some things are and other random questions. Yesterday, one of the girls asked me where Nepal is. I told them it was by China and then looked up a map on my phone to show them. All four got super excited and pointed out different places on the map. It was fun.
To me, it’s very important to make these kids feel comfortable learning and asking questions. Even if the question has nothing to do with the lesson, I want them to feel like it’s okay for them to ask. I may not be a real teacher and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I still want these kids to have a positive experience while I’m with them. I remember teachers from when I was in school who made kids feel stupid for asking questions or gave them a hard time about not already knowing things. That makes other students lose the desire to ask questions or express that they are struggling. I want the kids I teach to feel comfortable enough to let me know if they need extra help so I can help them. The purpose of teaching is to help these kids learn and help them figure out how and where to find information. These kids at the school are already behind in school and have to learn in a foreign language, so they need all the help they can get and they need an environment where they feel comfortable asking for that help.
I think yesterday went a long way in helping them feel comfortable with me. They certainly laughed and interacted a lot more than usual. And they tried harder than usual, too. Though, that may have had to do with the promise of cookies. I’ve been having a hard time getting them to write things out in complete sentences, so I told the girls if they made an effort to write the answers in complete sentences that I’d bring cookies next week. They got a little excited about that. lol. Occasionally, they’d write a few words as answers to the questions and I’d tell them that wasn’t a complete sentence (in a teasing tone) and then they started doing that to each other and would end up laughing and giggling. One girl was imitating me throughout the two hours and it was really funny. Julia kept saying she hadn’t given Betty her medication that morning and she was goofy. It was fun. Especially when I mentioned Star Wars.
At the end of the two hours we hadn’t finished the entire worksheet, so I told the girls to take the papers home and finish them for next week, writing in complete sentences. Julia said she would try to do that and I asked if she knew who Yoda was. She gave me a confused look and I mentioned Star Wars. ALL the girls got super excited and started talking about Star Wars and things they knew about Yoda. It was pretty funny. I told Julia that one of the things Yoda says is, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Or something like that. She got all animated and started acting out the scene where Yoda is telling Luke to lift the ship out of the mud with his mind and Luke says he can’t and then says he’ll try. Apparently, they are VERY familiar with Star Wars. lol. So, I convinced the girls to do their best at writing in complete sentences and have Yoda to thank for that.
Yesterday’s class was very successful in my mind. The kids were open, enthusiastic and worked really hard. I was very proud of them. They did express, though, how they are still like typical teenagers in regards to learning. Julia asked me if I had to memorize all these facts when I was young. That made me laugh. I don’t feel old, but I remember how when I was a teenager that anyone over 25 was old.
Anyways, she said she didn’t really see a point in having to memorize a lot of this stuff and I have to say that I agree with her. And this is why I think I’m a bad teacher. I told the girls that there is a lot of useful information they will learn in school, but there is also information they will learn that they will never use again. I told them that what I’m supposed to say is that ALL the info taught in school is super important, but the fact is that quite a bit of it they won’t ever see again unless they have a job in that specific field. The girls started talking about math and said they hate their math class because the guy talks super fast and teaches fast and they have no idea what is going on. They’re pretty stressed about it because they don’t understand anything he’s teaching. I told the girls not to stress too much and that math is something they’ll use in some regards, but not all of it. I told them that as long as they understand how to add, subtract, divide, multiply, use fractions and decimals they will be okay.
Does this make me a bad teacher? Probably. I want these girls to learn and be able to improve their situations, but I also don’t want them to stress so much over things they will most likely never use again. Part of me is also afraid of them being overwhelmed by trying to learn so much so fast so they can get caught up with other kids their age. Most of the kids at this school are going to need tutors once they get placed in the US, the UK or Australia anyways, so I think it’s more important to help the kids get a basic understanding of each subject and help them learn how to understand what is being taught.
Josephine, the biology supervisor, said the biggest thing the kids struggle with when they leave (and a big reason why they end up back in Malaysia) is that they can’t understand the language well enough to learn in it, get super discouraged and give up. So, that makes me think that it’s more important to get the kids familiar with hearing the language and understanding what is being said than cramming tons of information into their heads. I don’t want these girls to give up when they get to the US. They’re so excited about going to the US in a year or so. I don’t want them to get there and be so overwhelmed by not being able to learn in English that they give up and want to come back to Malaysia or Myanmar. Each of these kids has so much potential and they really are smart kids. It kinda makes me want to teach their math class, too, so I can make sure they are understanding each concept before moving on to the next. Because it’s pointless to keep throwing information at them without making sure they actually understand it. That’s setting them up for failure. Making kids memorize facts without making sure they understand the concepts behind the facts is, to me, pointless. It’s like having a person memorize phrases in a different language and then telling them to go out and have an in-depth conversation with someone. Sure, I’d be able to say my name and ask how someone is, but not knowing how the words work in different contexts, I wouldn’t be able to fully understand what the person was saying back to me or even be able to construct a sentence different from what I’d memorized. Well, not right away.
These kids, though, they need to be able to understand English and the concepts for their subjects right away because they are being sent to colleges in foreign countries shortly after they turn 18. Or 19. I’m not entirely sure which one. With as far behind as some of these kids are, there is no way they can learn everything they need to know to get caught up AND have a full grasp on English. Unfortunately, one thing has to be given priority. For me, it’s being able to understand the language. Because if you can’t understand how the language works, how can you be expected to learn in it.
Maybe it makes me a bad teacher to tell my kids that they shouldn’t stress to much about learning all there is to know about math. And maybe it makes me a bad teacher to admit to the kids that they won’t use EVERYTHING they learn in school once they leave school. I’d rather be a bad teacher with students who are still interested in learning some things than a teacher who has kids that are so overwhelmed with trying to learn it all NOW that they shut down and give up. It’s tough being a teacher and trying to find a balance between helping them be excited to learn and making sure they don’t get too overwhelmed with it all. Maybe I’m being too cautious. I don’t know. I just want to make sure I’m setting these kids up to succeed. Part of me hopes that I’ll run into them in the US and they’ll tell me they are still googling things. Part of me hopes to be in the same city as they are and can see how well they are adapting and how much they are achieving. And part of me hopes to be able to continue to help them learn once they get to the US.
I know those hopes are silly since I will most likely never see these kids again. But that’s what these kids do. They weasel their way into your heart and give you a strong desire to help them succeed and achieve all that they can. I’ve only been teaching them for a few months, but I already love all of them. They are good kids. They are smart. Once they get a better grasp of the English language, these kids are going to go beyond their wildest dreams. Such special kids with such a wonderful opportunity. And most of them are doing it on their own. Most of these kids are in Malaysia alone and will go on to their next country alone. How scary that must be for them. And how brave they are for trying. I want them to keep trying. If learning a bit less now so they still have the desire to learn more and the ability to learn things better in the future is what gets them there, then I’m all for it. I just don’t want them to give up because they are overwhelmed. I want them to succeed and I want them to soar. Because they can. I know they can.
