2017 Is Off To A Slow and Sleepy Start

Well, it’s only 4 days into the new year and I’ve already fallen off the wagon with most of my goals. haha. Happy New Year.

This week has been a rough week so far, but I’m determined to have a better rest of the week. It’s only, what, Wednesday? Feels like it’s Friday. Short weeks seriously mess with my head. But, yeah, the rest of this week will be better. Tonight I’m going to get to bed early (or on time?) instead of going to bed at 1am like I have been all week. Tomorrow I will get up at 6am and start the day off by doing my physical therapy exercises (one of my goals for the year), and then I will get to work on time. I used to get to work a few minutes before 8, but I’ve found that the last few months I’ve been getting to work between 3-5 minutes late every day. I made it up by staying a few minutes after I clock out, but still. Being late to work on a regular basis is unacceptable. I need to be on time.

The past few days I keep planning on getting a lot of stuff done when I get home, but all I’ve been able to do is just lay on the couch for several hours and just lay there. Today I tried taking a caffeine pill to see if that would help me get the energy to get up and do SOMETHING, but it did not. Yesterday and Monday I eventually got myself up and exercised, but it just didn’t happen today. Not really sure why. I just couldn’t get myself to get up off the couch. But eventually I got up, tidied the kitchen, and organized some photos on my computer.

Oh! And I called my renter’s insurance company. Got an email saying my bank had rejected a draft on my account because there was no money in the account. Oops. Forgot to transfer money from savings to pay for my insurance. Called the insurance company because I couldn’t pay online and the lady said my account shows paid in full, which is weird because my bank account shows a rejection and that no money was sent to my insurance company. Gotta keep an eye on that to make sure nothing crazy(er?) goes on with this and to get it paid once it shows owing.

Also called Best Buy about my camera because it went wonky in Utah. Took HALF AN HOUR for them to find the record of Troy buying it in 2015. Ten minutes of that was being on hold waiting for a representative. Then 20 minutes of the guy looking for the purchase record. Dang Troy and having used three different phone number for his Best Buy account. Part of the reason the rep couldn’t find the record is because it was listed as Shutterfly on the receipt, not Olympus. It had the model number, just not the correct manufacturer number. Dumb. The other dumb thing is that Victor, the rep, refused to send a copy of the receipt to Troy so he could send it to me so I could call Olympus with the info to check the warranty status. *sigh* Now I have to wait for Troy to go onto bestbuy.com to pull the receipt and email it to me. Bangin customer service, Best Buy. Thanks.

So, yeah, I decided to call it a day after that. Well, I kept telling myself I’d get up and exercise, but it’s not 9:23pm and I’ve pretty much decided it’s not going to happen. lol. Perhaps if I change into my gym clothes right after work tomorrow it will happen. I’m kinda feeling down about not exercising and then eating chips and dip for dinner, but it’s just one day. It’s not the end of the world. AND, I did avoid sugar today. Day 3 of no sugar! Woohoo! I did something right!

I kinda wonder if I’m overwhelming myself with the stuff I want to do every day. I made a list of goals I want to accomplish this year and it includes:

• Eat healthier
• Post 1 history blog a month
• Post 2 personal blogs a month (this counts!)
• Edit 20 photos per day
• Drink 72oz of water a day
• Write 5 things I’m thankful for each day (i’ve actually stuck with this………..for 3 days lol)
• Be more positive
• Work on my Book of Mormon study guide every day
• Do physical therapy exercises every morning
• Walk 4x a week and work up to running again
• Get back to 135lbs (I’m 145 right now 🙁 🙁 )

Kinda think I may have been a bit too ambitious. School starts next week, which I’m really not looking forward to, and all my goals seem to die when school starts. I hate Oregon Tech. Well, I don’t hate it, I think I’m just tired of being in school and not having a life and having to deal with teachers who don’t teach aside from telling me which chapters to read, but I guess that’s just how school is sometimes. 2.5 more years, if all goes according to plan, which it has not so far. lol. I still need a C# tutor. Need to get with Neil on that. Rebekah said he’d help me, so I need to go get some tutoring before summer term starts. I don’t know why I can’t wrap my brain around 2D Arrays.

I feel very rambly right now. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, but I have so much going on in my brain right now and just need it to get out. Maybe I need to reset my brain. haha. Or maybe that would make things worse. I restored my phone to factory default on Monday to fix some issues I’ve been having (battery dying every few hours, maxed out storage even though I’d uninstalled everything from it, texts not going through, random freezing, etc) and it seemed to have exacerbated some of those issues. I did a backup of my contacts and it somehow did not save all of them, so I had a bunch of phone numbers with no names in my phone. And then I didn’t realize until yesterday afternoon that I wasn’t getting all my texts, which I have to admit was kinda nice because people were leaving me alone……………………… haha. Sometimes it’s just nice to not have to deal with people for a while. Not that I hate people, I just get overwhelmed sometimes and need some space and alone time. A lot of it. It was nice feeling like people were leaving me alone when I needed that alone time. Now it turns out my phone is just being glitchy. Seems to be working okay now. I think.

Not really sure why I feel like I can’t people this week. Sunday I was sick and slept all day. Monday I slept in, relaxed, did some tidying up (i put some dishes in the dishwasher lol), walked on the treadmill for 2 hours, played on my computer, and went to bed super late. Yesterday I went to work, came home, took a nap on the couch for an hour, took a while to convince myself to get up and go for a walk (it was freezing!!!!), and then rewarded myself for reading Harry Potter in the bathtub for 2.5 hours. Yes, I emptied the tub and refilled it once it got cold. I’m doing a fantastic job on my goals so far. haha. I did read scriptures yesterday, so at least there was that. I really do feel quite pathetic, but I’m sure it will pass. Perhaps if I get up off my buns tomorrow and do something? haha.

The only thing I feel like doing right now is sleeping for 50 hours. But that’s not going to help me with my weight loss goal. I ate so much junk over Christmas that I gained a few pounds, which I know is normal, but it makes me feel quite discouraged. I’ve been trying to get under 140 for about 2 months now. I was 139.6 for 2 days, but I can’t seem to get below that. And then I ended up going up, which makes me feel worse. I know that eating sugar makes me………….puffy (hey, it’s better than saying I feel fat!) and then add all the salt and carbs I’ve been consuming. That’s making me retain water as well as making me feel like crap in general, so I just need to have a few days of actually eating well and I should feel better. At least a bit. And as I write this I’m looking at the tortillas and cheese dip I had for dinner………………….ha. Once I’m done with this I’m going to go throw some frozen chicken in the fridge so it will be easier for me to make myself something healthy tomorrow. I NEED to start eating better. I know a feel better when I eat better, so that’s something I really need to focus on. Eating better will help with a lot of stuff. Let’s cross our fingers.

January in general is usually a pretty rough month for me. It tends to be a turbulent month in my life, so I seem to have a hard time with it. I’ve been thinking about going out to the coast on Friday for a weekend away or seeing if some friends would mine me coming up to Washington for the weekend. That would be nice. I miss always being on the move like I was in Malaysia. That’s the life I want to have: experiencing new places and cultures every few weeks. That was such a fantastic time. Sometimes I think that was my one shot at living my dream. Sometimes I think I’ll never have another opportunity to live like I did at that time. I was so far outside my comfort zone and loved every minute of it. I feel like I’ve regressed a lot since I came back to the US. Except for when I’m in Hawaii. I’m out exploring by myself and getting around the island on my own and hiking small mountains all alone most of the time. In New York things kinda turned out to where I was exploring the city by myself for a few hours every day, a lot of which was at night. Jeffry was kind enough to help me with directions over text when I wanted to go to specific places, so I wasn’t navigating the city on my own most of the time. A few times I had to stop and ask random strangers for which train I needed to take, which I normally avoid if I can. haha. I got stopped on the streets and the ferry a few times by guys who wanted to chat. They were all really nice and very helpful. Firefighter dude wanted me to get in his car so he could take me to this “really cool place to photograph,” but I’m not that insane. haha. It’s funny I say that because in Malaysia I got in cars with strangers a few times. haha. It turned out well each time, but I still get chewed out for that stuff every now and then. It’s weird because each time I wasn’t afraid. That kind of stuff normally freaks me out, but each time I did it in Malaysia I didn’t feel any fear. Nor was I afraid to be out wandering the streets of New York alone in the dark. Not gonna say I didn’t have my moments of trepidation in New York, but it was more of being lost and not being able to find my way back to Chris’ apartment. I was more afraid of getting on the wrong train than I was to walk down the street at 12am with all my camera gear. lol. Maybe I am crazy.

It’s about 10:30 now, so I should probably go to bed. My bedtime is 10:30, so I missed both going to bed early AND going to bed on time. Oh well. I feel better now, getting some of that stuff out. There’s still a bunch of random thoughts and feelings floating around in my brain, but it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming. That’s progress, right? Plus, tomorrow is a new day and it will be better than today. I’m going to lay my exercise clothes out tonight so I will see them as soon as I get home. That may help me get moving when I get home. And the chicken. Gotta go get some chicken defrosting. Everything will be good now. I will think positive. I’m going to find some motivational pictures and put them up at work. That will probably help a lot. And maybe if I stay off the couch I won’t sleep all afternoon.