But, it is. I thought I was doing so good this morning by eating 450 calories for breakfast (yogurt, granola and toast with peanut butter) and 455 calories for lunch (pb&j, carrots, peanut butter and two mini kit kats). Then, I had a 100 calorie granola bar for my afternoon snack and a 30 calorie V8 on the way to the gym. By the time I got to the gym, I was so freakin exhausted! Why is it that when I eat more than usual (i normally have 300-350 calories for breakfast and about 350-400 for lunch) I am so tired and worn out? The day wasn’t so bad. Yes, I felt sick at the beginning of the day, but it passed after a few hours. Why on earth does eating more make me so tired? Isn’t food supposed to be fuel and make me have more energy?
I was talking on the phone to Jill last night and we were discussing this whole thing. She kept asking me if I was tired and rundown and feeling weary. I told her no. I feel fine most days. Sure, I am pretty worn out by the end of the week, but I figure that’s because I work a billion hours a week, go to the gym four days a week, rush home and shower so I can get to my classes three days a week and only get about 6 hours of sleep every night. But other than that, I feel pretty energetic. I mean, I have enough energy to bust out 450+ calories on the arc trainer every time I go, so I can’t be too worn down from eating less food. Today, though, I felt like I was going to die after 10 minutes on the arc trainer. I mean, seriously, I just felt like I had no energy, so I just trudged through it. I put on some high-tempo music and ended up burning 427. Granted, that’s not a small amount, but for me it really is. I used to do an hour a day on the arc trainer and get between 850-900 calories each time. So, getting less than 450 is really not a lot compared to my usual. And all I can say is it’s because my energy level is a lot lower today than it usually is. Hopefully I’m not getting sick.
Anyways, I got home from the gym and proceeded to cook my usual dinner: grilled chicken. I decided to add some corn to that and some yogurt covered raisins. When I tallied it all up, I was only about 1200 calories! How on earth does that happen?! I eat a lot more than usual (at least it felt like it), yet I’m still sitting about the same amount of calories as I normally eat. What on earth?!
So, to supplement, I downed the whole can of corn and some fruit punch. Ugh. I made myself so sick. lol. I seriously HATE forcing myself to eat stuff. It always makes me feel ill. But I did it anyways. I forced myself to eat a bunch of stuff my body didn’t want because some girls at work were being retarded about me yesterday. I know they weren’t saying that stuff to be mean. I know they’re just concerned. I mean, I’ve lost 35lbs since I started working there, so I do look a lot different from what I did two and a half years ago. I feel like I look fine, though. When I was changing at the gym today, I looked at myself in the mirror and there are no bones protruding, my ribs don’t stick out, my backbone isn’t visible, my hips don’t jut out of my skin, I don’t have sunken cheek bones. I don’t look like a skeleton at all. I just look like a relatively thin woman.
I looked up stuff on webmd.com and according to them and the fitness website I’m on, I’m in the healthy weight and BMI range. This is what I found on webmd.com:
Your BMI is: 18.9 Healthy BMI – 18.5-25.0
Your weight is: 124.6 Target weight range: 121.7 – 164.4 lbs
What’s your BMI?
A BMI chart
tells you the recommended weight range for your height. The chart assigns a number, or BMI, to your weight. That number is your BMI:
- If your BMI is less than 18.5, you are in the underweight category. Talk to your doctor to find out if your weight is a symptom of a medical problem. Your doctor can also refer you to a nutrition expert who can help you learn about healthy eating.
- If your BMI is between 19 and 24.9, you are in the recommended weight range for your height. But your health may still be at risk if you are not getting regular physical activity and practicing healthy eating.
- If your BMI is 25 to 29.9, you are in the overweight category. This may or may not be unhealthy, depending on some other things, like your waist size and other health problems you may have.
- If your BMI is 30 or higher, you’re in the obese category. You may need to lose weight and change your eating and activity habits to get healthy and stay healthy
So, according to them, I’m fine. And according to my body, it doesn’t want to eat a ton more food. I think I’ll just stick with eating right and not push myself quite so hard on the working out. I’ll try to slowly increase my calorie intake, but trying to eat 400 extra calories all the sudden is making my body revolt. My body knows what it needs and I just need to listen to it. I never skip meals (well, except for when I sleep in late on Saturdays and on Fast Sundays) and I do the occasional splurge day where I just eat what I want and how much I want and not care about the calories (these are my buffet days lol), so I’m not starving myself or doing anything super unhealthy. I just need to watch the weight and make sure it doesn’t go down any more.
So, in light of that, Operation Eat A Ton More Everyday has been scrapped and Operation Slowly Increase Calorie Intake has begun. Wish me luck.
And, with that, I am now going to bed. Good night, all.
